I still remember the moment I realized my relationship with food was out of control. I found myself sitting in my dorm room, surrounded by empty takeout bags and dirty plates. My stomach was full, but I kept craving for more food. It became a habit. As soon as I had a conversation about losing weight that would make me upset, I resorted to eating more junk food instead of exercising or cutting down my portions. It felt like I had no control over my eating habits anymore, and all I felt was disgust and disappointment towards myself. I had to accept that I was dealing with a condition far more complicated than just liking food too much – I had a binge eating disorder.

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What is BED?

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Recognizing Signs and Symptoms of BED 

While reflecting on my experience with BED, I realized how easy it could be to dismiss signs by thinking it’s a part of life or just a phase. Maybe you or someone around you is experiencing something similar. Knowing the signs of BED is the first step to understanding it. Here’s what I wish I had learned sooner from NEDC:

Recognizing the behaviors: 

Do you ever find yourself hoarding snacks, eating them quickly and mindlessly? My mom would say, “Eat slowly; no one is going to run away with your food.” I never broke that habit. Sometimes, you keep eating to the point where you don’t stop to taste the food. For fear of embarrassment, you may find yourself avoiding eating around others. Picture how the Beast (from the Disney movie Beauty and the Beast) ate his soup before Belle corrected him. That was how I gorged on food, especially when I was upset that I was eating in the first place.

I never wanted people to notice how much I ate or how out of control I felt. If I went out to eat, I would have little portions in public, then go home and order DoorDash for more food. Trust me, I spent a lot of money on food, sometimes topping $300 per month. I don’t have the money to sustain this type of consumption. Yet, I would rather stock up on junk food than spend money on other things. In the end, sometimes isolating yourself during a binge because of shame can be easier than confronting it.

The emotional rollercoaster:

When you deal with BED, every moment is consumed by thoughts of weight, appearance, and whether you’re eating “correctly.” It goes beyond a health concern; it’s an obsession constantly weighing you down. After a binge, the guilt and self-criticism flood in, which then fuels the cycle even more. It’s like there’s no winning, no matter what you do. Binge episodes are always accompanied by waves of guilt, anxiety, and sadness. Your self-esteem becomes incredibly low before and after a binge. The negative self-talk makes everything worse.

As someone who is oversensitive to comments about food, exercise, or my body, any comments on these topics trigger an emotional reaction. I can get hypersensitive to what others say and feel judged and criticized even when they do not intend to. There’s constant stress from these thoughts, which often lead to feelings of depression and anxiety. Sometimes, I even question if this was a type of self-harm.

The physical toll: 

Physically, BED takes a toll that you can’t ignore for too long without having serious consequences. Your weight can fluctuate widely, usually adding more pounds than you’d like. People who suffer with BED can feel sluggish, bloated, and tired. In my case, I was constantly feeling lethargic after an episode, dragging myself throughout the day. At the time, I thought I was just lacking in self-discipline, but eventually I learned that these behaviors and emotions were signs of BED, a disorder that requires understanding and treatment. I didn’t realize that ignoring the problem could put my body at risk in ways that I didn’t think through. 

BED can lead to serious physical issues, such as: 

• Type 2 diabetes 
• High blood pressure and cholesterol 
• Heart disease 
• Fertility problems, including irregular menstrual cycles 
• Certain cancers, like breast kidney and pancreatic 

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Breaking out of the cycle 

It’s normal and okay to feel ashamed about talking about your eating habits, but it’s important to do it because BED is treatable.

ED Matters 

A podcast that engages with eating disorder experts in discussions for those in recovery, their loved ones, and treatment providers. Their aim is to bring assurance that recovery is available. 

Eating Recovery Center 

An international center for eating disorders. They offer full treatment services for adults, adolescents, and children. They also offer inpatient, residential, partial hospitalization, and outpatient programs. 

Crisis Textline 

Offers free, 24/7 text-based mental health support and crisis intervention through a community of trained volunteers, providing assistance during critical moments.