Health care is supposed to be a place where a person can find medical support and solutions without fear of judgment. Yet, for many plus-size individuals, visiting a doctor’s office can come with the expectation of being judged rather than feeling cared for. Unfortunately, my experiences may feel unique to some people, but are pretty standard to others who struggle with obesity. I’ve realized how normal it is for healthcare professionals to dismiss the dignity of larger patients.

I was bigger as a child. Because of that, my pediatrician gave me the nickname Giant Baby. Despite being annoyed and uncomfortable with that name, I never said anything, so the name stuck. When I was 15, I went to see that pediatrician. Like most teenagers, I was navigating my insecurities about my body. I asked her what she recommended I do since eating healthy and exercising didn’t seem consistent. My doctor said, with absolute certainty, that the only way I could lose weight was to undergo gastric sleeve surgery. She said this as though she felt sorry for me; as if this were my last option. I had never heard of this surgery before, but I did all the research I could for most of my sophomore year. I spent countless hours trying to convince my mother to let me have the surgery.

Listen, there’s nothing wrong with needing to have surgery. It’s normal, and it’s a valid treatment option. But as a teenager, when you are being told that the only way for you to lose weight is by doing an extreme treatment like gastric sleeve surgery, you become obsessed with that conclusion. It didn’t matter what I was doing; I would research during study hours, class time, and after school.

Around this time, I had another interaction with my doctor, saying that if I didn’t want to do the surgery, the best way for me to lose weight was to Ziploc my mouth shut. In other words, she was telling me to just stop eating.

I asked my endocrinologist about health issues that could relate to my thyroid. He dismissed my concerns whenever I raised them by interrupting me and saying that all my health problems would be fixed once I lost weight. While I acknowledge that he may be right, his attitude discouraged me from asking about other health concerns because I feared he would attribute them all to my weight, which was not that high at that time.

Let me give you an example of how a typical doctor’s appointment goes for someone who is obese and has PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome).

You go to your doctor to let them know you are struggling to lose weight. You’ve been working so hard, but you’ve hit a plateau. You’ve changed your diet and are exercising more. Your doctor informs you that the reason you’re not losing weight is due to insulin resistance from your PCOS. Finally, an answer! You ask your doctor what you need to do to treat this insulin resistance, and they say, “Just lose weight.” Do you see this never-ending cycle?

Experiences like this are why so many plus-size people dread going to doctors. It’s not about the long wait times or the fear of needles. It’s about the humiliation of being treated as though your weight is the sole cause of any health issues and the only way to get better is to lose it. That assumption is pervasive, hurtful, and can harm our health. If plus-size people don’t feel comfortable going to healthcare professionals for help, they can delay seeking medical attention, especially when they need it.

Doctors, stop blaming the patient. Obesity is a disease, and you need to treat it like one. Every patient deserves respect and compassion, or else the cycle of shame and avoidance will continue, and countless patients will suffer silently. Everyone’s health deserves to be treated with care and dignity.