I’ve been scrolling through my TikTok and Instagram lately; all I see are videos about weight loss. It makes sense since I’ve been spending so much time researching the topic that the algorithm decided to show me the truth behind it. Weight loss is often thought to be the ultimate fix for your life’s problems, and I’ll admit, that has been my thought process, too. As I write this, I would do almost anything to be skinny. Living in this body is exhausting and not fun at all, but I know that losing weight is not going to be the answer to all my problems.

To keep exploring this topic, I got in contact with an old friend of mine, Amanda Saba. I’ve known her throughout her weight loss journey, and she was willing to share her story with me.
When Amanda was a high school freshman, she started losing weight. “I wasn’t happy with myself. I remember going to school and being bullied all the time, even on the days when I felt comfortable in my own skin. I’d leave school feeling terrible because of the things people said to me.”

When Amanda was 13 years old, her doctor told her that because of her weight, she was on the borderline for serious health issues. This experience flipped a switch for Amanda, and she decided it was time to lose weight.

When Amanda started, she weighed close to 200 lbs. Her original goal was to get down to about 115 lbs. It was a big goal, but it was one that she thought would help her to feel comfortable in her own skin.

“I think after losing weight, I was definitely a lot happier with myself, but I was also very conflicted. I felt like I never was losing enough. I felt like no matter how much weight I lost (which I think was maybe 50 or 60 lbs, give or take), I just wanted to keep seeing more and more progress. So, I just became hard on myself all the time. I also had body dysmorphia, so I felt like no matter how much I lost, I was never truly satisfied with how I looked. There was always this negative thought, you know?”

Amanda became obsessed with losing weight. “I would do my 10,000 steps around the house. I would try to even walk around the neighborhood, too. Then, I would do at least two hours of working out with apps that I had. Even after school, I would spend hours just working out because I wasn’t seeing results the right way. It kind of messed up my brain a little bit. At first, I didn’t really want consistency; I just wanted results. I felt like I almost didn’t really recognize myself. Why am I so hyper-focused on this? Why am I not really enjoying my life as a teenager? Especially because those teenage years go by fast. So that’s definitely something I regret.”

During this time, Amanda noticed that the people who had previously ignored or bullied her had started becoming friendly. “It made me lose respect for them. I was the same person, just physically different. Why did I only matter to them now?”

Amanda’s experience aligns with so many TikTok testimonials: men become nicer, and women get meaner. The entire social dynamic shifts. Losing weight is already hard enough, but accepting who you become afterward is just as challenging.
People seem to forget that no matter how much weight you lose, you’ll always feel fat. That feeling never goes away.

Hearing Amanda’s story brings up my own fears about losing weight. I worry I’ll lose my identity. Being fat has been a defining characteristic of who I am. The thought of giving that up and starting over as someone new terrifies me.

Right now, I feel safer and less likely to be approached or harassed. I worry about what happens when I’m no longer invisible. Then, there’s the pressure to maintain my weight loss. I would have to work tirelessly to not regain any weight I lost.

Amanda’s experience is pretty common among people who have lost a lot of weight. The idea that losing weight solves all of your problems is false. It is important to remember that losing weight doesn’t automatically make you happy. To be healthy in body and mind, you should check in with yourself and those around you and love yourself for who you are at any weight.